My Next Journey

The room in spinning.

My chest is heavy.

I can't catch my breath.

My mind is racing.

There are no words to express the depths of my sorrow and regret. I sit here now beginning to grieve my former life and my lost dreams. It seems my old friend grief has found a new way to entrench itself into my life like he wasn't already cemented into my world. I waiver between uncontrollable anger and anguishing sorrow. At times, the optimist in me takes hold and I feel I can do this, but then the sun sets and I realize I am all alone.

Tomorrow I begin the journey back home to my family. I will return to those who love me unconditionally even though they do not understand my hurt. They will love me and most importantly of all, they will love Monkey with every ounce of their being. Right now, all I can ask for is to be loved. Having had love stripped away, I find myself craving the security that comes with unconditional love.

I am moving on. My steps are labored and slow, but they are moving forward.