Memorial

Noah's memorial service was two years ago. It was held in the church in which M and I were married. He deserved to have it held in a church, regardless of my failing relationship with God. The chaplain who baptized him and Monkey at he hospital performed the ceremony. It seemed fitting as he was the only minister who had ever known Noah.

I truly don't remember much of the service. Monkey, only 3 months old, lay asleep on my shoulder through the entire thing. I had been worried that he would cry and fuss, but Noah must have told him to sleep. I held on tight to him, hoping Noah could feel my love.

We played a slide show of photos given to us by the photographer with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. These photos take my breath away they are so beautiful and I wanted to share them with all who knew Noah. We also read his favorite book, Rainbow Rob. Noah used to look at the pictures and try with all his might to touch the pages. The book is about being different and accepting yourself, so fitting for my special boy. We ended the ceremony with a PowerPoint of photos and the song Hello, Goodbye. My sister in law found that song for us. She remembered it from years earlier, but hadn't realized the name in it was Noah. It was perfect.

Noah's ashes are buried in our local cemetery. We had a very short graveside service. It was so cold, much like today. I remember my Dad holding Monkey close wrapped in a blanket to keep him warm. What it must have been like to watch your baby bury her baby? My father is the strong, silent type who is your rock in a crisis. I remember is work worn hands holding my delicate child. I can still see the orchids that someone left at the burial site. They were beautiful.

My parents held a reception following the service at their home. The house was filled with friends and family. We had set out pictures and photo albums of Noah's life. So many never had the chance to meet Noah due to his medical issues. I remember feeling like I had to entertain and visit with each person. It was very surreal. I look back and it is like I was floating through a dream.

In all of the things related to Noah, I don't have any regrets about his memorial service. I wanted it to be perfect and it turned out just as I had wanted. It was a fitting tribute.