Signs

This journey I am on, where is the map and tour guide? How do I know if I am going the right way? That is the scary part of dead baby land. There are no obvious signs posted to let you know that you are headed in the right direction. Nevertheless, the signs are there. They are just subtle. If you look too hard, you miss them completely. It's when you least expect it that they are there. I find fleeting moments of peace every now and then. These are my signs; a thought, a lost memento, a look from a stranger that seems eerily familiar, a random hug from Monkey. In the darkest moments, I find these subtle signs. Sometimes, I feel Noah with me. His gentle force guiding back to the light. I am trying to slow down and listen. In the beginning, I missed so many signs because I so desperately needed them. Now, in the early light of the morning, I feel him. He propels me forward to live my life and love those around me. It has been almost two years, yet I am so very little into this journey. I don't know where it will take me, but I am listening, looking, and feeling my way along. The signs will find me when I'm not expecting them. I will open my heart so I can feel Noah's love.