Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my sweet boys! I can hardly believe that it was two years ago that I first held you in my arms. I have never felt so much love and fear at the same time. Nothing could have prepared me for the intense feelings I would have upon meeting you. You are both amazing miracles. I wanted you so much. It was surreal to finally meet you after months of waiting.

Monkey, you were short and chubby. You were perfectly happy just looking around and being held. You really didn’t cry much and seemed to sense immediately that you needed to be calm in the middle of our storm with Noah. Monkey, you provided us with hope and love, so that we could fight for your little brother. As I watch you grow from a baby into a little boy, my heart is full of your love. Your laughter is my light in the darkness that followed losing your brother. You are sweet, loving, and have the funniest sense of humor. I promise to always support you and protect you. I will love you no matter what. You are an amazing little boy and so many hold you in a special place in their hearts. You are a survivor. I would never expect you to live for two, but I know you keep your little brother’s memory in your heart. I am so sorry that you had to know sorrow so early in life. I know that Noah is with you, visiting you in your dreams. Your little brother loves you and is always watching over you.

Noah, my angel, you came into this world a fighter. You survived when the doctor’s didn’t expect you too. You were long and skinny and seemed to have the soul of a wise old man. Those big, blue eyes seemed to know the secret of life. Please know, that we tried to make the best choices we could. We wanted only the best for you. I pray that you never suffered or felt pain. I look at your pictures and feel such pride for you being my sweet boy. There is not a day that passes that I don’t think of you and miss you. Thank you for your little signs to let me know you are ok. I can feel your love in Monkey’s sweet laugh and I know you will look over and guide him on his way. As I watch him sleep and see him smile, I know you are giving him angel kisses. Noah, I will live my life to honor you. I will make sure you are not forgotten. You will never be forgotten by me. You will always be in heart. You are a part of me.



To both of my boys, I know the bond of being a twin will always stay with you. Though you are separate in this lifetime, one day you will be together again. Until then, you will be together in spirit. My best memories are of the first times you were able to sleep together. Noah, you would be so excited. You breath would quicken and you would be wide awake and alert. Monkey, you would calm and fall into a deep sleep as if to let us know that this is where you belong. I am grateful for both of my boys. I love you so very much and am so proud of you.

Happy Birthday!

I Love You,
Mommy