Yesterday was a big day. I walked into that court room and watched the world as I knew it officially stop. I didn't cry. I didn't even flinch. I just sat there as the judge said our divorce was granted. He didn't even look at me. It is all over. No more.
I know that there will sad and lonely days ahead, but I am looking forward. I will begin building a life for Monkey and I. I will forget about him and our life. He has made his choice and I am determined to not let him ruin anymore of my life. Today I can take on the world. Tomorrow may be different, but I will deal with that when I need to.
I capped off the day by making a bold move. I bought a house. It is all mine and I get to do with it whatever I want. I can paint the walls hot pink if I want (I won't, but I could) and no one can tell me not to. It is the most frightening and exciting thing I have done in a long while. It is a new beginning. Monkey and I will make it a home. There is lots of work to be done, but I am looking at it as therapy. I will use this new home as a way to find me. I am going to fill it with only things I love and that make me happy.
I survived what I thought was impossible. I can do this on my own. It is in my control to find happiness. The real journey begins now...
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- The Turtle and the Monkey
- Welcome to my journey to parenthood. Hold on for the ups, downs, and sudden stops. This is me learning to live with both my living and dead children.
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11 comments:
Wow - congratulations on buying a house. It will be an awesome place for you and Monkey and I am sure it will be beautiful and peaceful and home.
I'm sorry about your divorce - that is never something anyone expects to have to go through. You are a very strong woman though and I know you will take what you need from this and move on. Look at all you've already done. You're a rock star!
PS - my word verification is "filch" - I don't know how I feel about that...
"I am going to fill it with only things I love and that make me happy."
What a wonderful idea and a brave step forward!
You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.
I'm sorry about the road you've walked up to this point, but each day is a new day, each step the possible first of a new journey. You have Monkey... You have a home... These are beautiful things. I have faith in you.
Grats on the house, and to a lesser extent, the divorce. He doesn't deserve you.
Hang in there hun, you can do hard things.
(here via L&F)
This is the most inspirational thing I have read in a long, long time.
Best to both of you. Keep head and paintbrush held high.
Here from LFCA, sending you the best as you settle into your new home w/your son.
so sorry that you are going through such a painful time.
Wow - I have not heard that kind of conviction and hope in your voice - well, ever.
Congrats on your new life, your healthy son and your new home.
You deserve it.
Keep you head up, and continue to be a strong woman. Congrats on the house. I am sorry you are going through this, but you seem like an awesome woman/mother.
here from LFCA
Here from LFCA. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say but I wish you healing and happiness. I hope you enjoy your house whatever color you paint it.
Congratulations on the new house and the beginning of your new life. You? Are AMAZING.
I think that one room should be hot pink, it speaks so much of your own empowerment, your conviction to yours and Monkey's happiness. Whenever I see hot pink walls, i'll think of you.
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