Me: "Good". (I know a lie, but really what else can I say? People don't want to hear that you are shitty.)
Her: "Are you M still together"?
Me: "No".
Her (eyes bulging out of her head) : "Oh, I saw him and then saw some girl. It definitely was not you. ".
Me: "Sometimes people make bad choices".
Her: The head tilt and the look like there are horns growing out of my head.
Me: "Okay, I will see you around."
Really? She is like the 3rd person to ask me and then tell me they saw him out with her. I am really tired of the "look". I am more tired of trying to answer in a graceful way. Only profanity comes to mind and that is just not appropriate to answer with.
I have found a solution to this problem. I am going to make up a sign and wear it at all time or maybe I will just tattoo it on my forehead. It will read something like this:
Yes, I had twins. Yes, one is dead. Yes, that does suck. I am lucky to have my living son. No, he doesn't replace his brother. Yes, my marriage is over. Yes, he cheated on me with his skanky employee while I took care of our remaining sick child. Yes, that also sucks. Okay, see you soon.
Let's be honest, no one would stick around much longer in a conversation than that anyways. I may as well be a leper. You do know that dead babies and cheating husbands are contagious, right?
6 comments:
There are too many people in this world who just suck. I'm sorry.
Sweetie, I'm sorry. I dont have the husband bit, but I do feel like a leper at times. By BF is going through a divorce and I know she feels out of place, too. But you have more weight than both of us. I am so sorry.
I am in favor of just coming right and saying, when asked if you are together, "No. After our son died, he decided he couldnt be a husband top me or father to our living son, so he cheated on me with his secretary and now has the gall to want some sort of custody arrangement. Enjoy your day!"
You go with the sarcasm, because - let's face it, either they already know it's over (hence - him out with the other girl) or they are thinking they are the first to tell (read: shock) you.
Indignant sarcasm to either...
Gee life sucks. And Sophie is right, lots of other people suck too. And you are right, people do make bad choices. Some people are idiots.
People don't realise that we can't give them dead baby disease. I'm with you on that one.
I'm also considering a tattoo on my forehead. Or printing out a pamphlet that I can hand out the whole sorry mess out to everyone.
With wishes for less sucky times for you in the near future.
Cath x
Ideally, you could focus on yourself now. His leaving the family wasn't about you, it was about him and his inability to be who he needed to be.
The best thing you can do for your son is to just say that things didn't work out.
Him seeing someone else, regardless of how sleazy she is is not going to change your son even an itsy-bitsy bit. It probably won't last anyway.
Yeah, I get the whole leper thing. The first time I went to the kids school after William died the mothers all huddled on the opposite side of the classroom from me.
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