This is how I feel today...I thought it was bad when Noah died and couldn't get worse. I was wrong. Your husband can decided to have a crisis and shit can his life (aka your marriage). He asked me today if I could be more positive. Really?? What should I be positive about? My dead baby? My feelings of abandonment from him leaving? The stress of trying to raise a two year old by yourself with minimal help from him? The empty promise of him wanting to save our marriage?
Today sucks. Today I want to crawl in a hole and stay there for awhile. I think I need a pity party. I want to cry, but crying pisses me off. If I cry, he wins. Instead, I will find a pint of ice cream. That should take the edge off.
I keep telling myself this is the worst, but lets be honest there are a lot of other shitty things that can happen. I think I will go back to my hole...
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Jennifer-
I can't imagine what you're going through. The stress of losing a baby is so unbearably hard, and then to top it off with what you're currently going though is inconceivable.
In my darkest days (of which there are still many), I concentrate on getting through the hour, then the morning, then the whole day, until I can breathe again. The phrase "taking it day by day" has a whole new meaning now.
I'll be thinking of you- hang in there.
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