Thunder

"Mama, I hear something."

"What do you hear?"

"It's thunder. Mama, the angels are bowling. Noah is bowling." (My Papa used to tell me that when I was little and afraid.)

"Mama, where is Noah?"

"Monkey, Noah is an angel in heaven."

"Where is he?"

"He is like a star in the sky. He is watching over us and sending us his love."

"I want Noah. I miss him. Mama, get him for me."

"Monkey, I can't get him. He is in heaven. I wish I could, but he is an angel now."

Mama, call Mima. She will help you get him."

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"Mama, the moon is out. Noah lives there. He is watching me."

"He is?"

"Yes Mama, he is watching you too."

"Mama, he loves you."

"I love him too."

"Mama, I miss him. Mama, was I an angel too when I was a baby?"

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I don't really know how to answer his questions. It breaks my heart and brings me closer to my lost son all at the same time. I mourn the boy he will never be and the brother that Monkey will never know. He left a void that can never be filled. I miss him. Monkey misses him.