Well, I have finally taken the leap into blogging. I have been reading many blogs with stories similiar to my own and decided it was time to share. Please be patient with me as it may take me awhile to bare my soul and tell my story. Here goes...
After 18 months of trying to conceive and 4 rounds of Clomid, it happened. I was finally pregnant. It started off rocky with a couple of miscarriage scares, but it was with this that I learned the most amazing news. It was twins!
After the scares, my pregnancy was uneventful until around 32 weeks when my blood pressure spiked and I learned that Baby B potentially had hydrocephalus. I managed to stay sane and pregnant another few weeks. My Monkey and and My Turtle were born within a minute of each other by scheduled c-section. Monkey came out healthy and screaming. Noah, on the other hand, came with a whimper and with immediate medical emergencies. He had severe hypotonia (low muscle tone) and needed help breathing. It was obvious that he was not okay.
After one month, two life flights, two hospitals, and numerous doctors, Noah came home with no diagnosis and worse yet, no prognosis for life. Noah came home to live and make our lives complete for two months. Noah passed one day shy of his three month birthday. He was 90 days old. He died of complications of pneumonia and ultimately of a rare brain abnormality. That was 17 months ago.
Today, I am figuring out how to live as a broken mother, wife, and human being.
2 comments:
You're strength has taken you so far already. You are an amazing mother.
welcome to the blogosphere, you will find a very compassionate group of women here. i am so sorry for your pain and your profound loss. i have lost two babies. one in 2007 due to a rare genentic illness at 22 weeks. and this year i lost my second little girl at 23 weeks. she lived 3 and half hours. i'm so sorry you have joined this community, but you will feel uniquely understood.
you are courageous.
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