Butterflies

I'm nervous. What is that fluttering feeling?

He stands there looking at me. He doesn't do the head tilt or even seem to flinch knowing my story. He doesn't seem uncomfortable or scared of me like most people in his position. His face is kind and I find myself okay with Monkey meeting him. He just stopped by to say hello.

Butterflies? I forgot what it feels like. Had I not been sick or my sweet Monkey clinging onto my leg, I might have kissed him. I am losing my mind. I don't even know if I like him or if I just want to remember what it feels like.

He is kind, he makes me laugh, and he seems to remember me when the rest of the world has gone silent. He hasn't pushed or even questioned my hesitation to go on a real date. He remembered Noah's day. What am I so scared of? He is also getting divorced under similar circumstances. We both have enough baggage to sink a ship. Why can't I stop analyzing and just have fun for once? I am scared to jump in blindly and this dating thing is quite complicated with a 3 year old in tow. On the other hand, it makes me feel alive and energized in a way I haven't felt in a very long while. I think besides the butterflies, that little feeling just might be hope.